Saturday 29 March 2008

To a friend, once lost.

You walked away so suddenly one day, leaving us with so many questions, unanswered.

At first, I was mad. How could you? What was there in that land, more friends? Real happiness? More than what we offer you?

Then I was sad. What happened? Did we say things to hurt you? Did we not show that we cared for you? Do you have problems that you can't solve?

After which came regret. I should have shown more care. I could have spent more time with you. I should have asked if you needed to talk. I could make you feel like I was there, if you needed someone. I should have not been so preoccupied with my own life that I forget.


Now comes worry. I worry that you're not coping well with your new life. I worry about you.

And then, suddenly it hits me.

I blame you for walking away, for being irresponsible, for not caring anymore.
But really, all I'm feeling is, the loss of a friend I once had.

I have my regrets, and my worries.
But deep within me, I know there is not much I can do. You made a decision, and its time I learnt to accept it, and question no more. I need to learn to accept, that you have your reasons. And whatever those reasons are, it is not up to me to judge you.

All I want to know, dear friend, is that I haven't really lost you.

2 comments:

Windchaser said...

emotions are usually in this sequence, anger, guilt, regret, and reconciliation. don't be too emotional pei lian. not good for health.

Adriano said...

every dark cloud has a silver lining, pei lian.....

sometimes, its hard to see how hard or wat people are going thru....

i believe strongly that the person is nice by heart, but wats goin thru the person's life could be so difficut n yet we cant see it

when u see those druggies in the street, its not for right for us to mock them....coz we dont know wat childhood or background they went thru...n something had turn them in, no one wants to do drug....

n to care for a friend, is to understand the person, to accept his rights n wrongs n believe in them....not to judge

but as long as we know the person was, and still is a nice by nature, there is still hope and every reason not to give up hope

we are the silver lining.....if not us, who will be the hope...