The hardest card to write was the one I tried writing today, to be sent to my deceased patient's wife.

I hope I will never have to write too many cards of this kind in the future.

However I do realise that death is an inevitable part of living. We all will go and meet our Heavenly Father one day, whether we are ready or not, or whether our loved ones are prepared to loose us or not.

Was in too much of a shock the other day to describe what happened, but it is the first time in my life that I receive news of death from a grieving loved one.

I was in the Dental Hospital, thinking that I should call my patient in for a review appointment for the dentures I've made for him over the past year, also to review the fillings I've done, becoz he was to be one of my final year case presentation.

So I called him,and his wife answered.

'Hello may I speak to Mr Taylor please? This is Pei calling from the Dental Hospital.'

'silence on the other end of the line.. followed by a loud wail, with heavy sobs.'

(I was shocked beyond words, and I had this sense of foreboding doom.)

'Erm, is this Mrs. Taylor? Are you ok?'

.. more wailing..


at this point I was already freaking out. My peripheries turned cold, and my heart started beating very fast.

'He *sob* died *sob* 3 months ago *sob*'

followed by louder and louder wailing.


I was speechless. Literally STUCK for words.

My mind went blank.


'erm.. Mrs Taylor... u ok?' I managed to squeak. ( what on earth was I thinking, of course she is NOT ok! )

..more sobbing..


I mustered whatever was left in me to say.. 'oh. I'm so sorry. Please look after yourself.'

..and put down the receiver.


I'm such an idiot!


After that, I was in a daze. Went back to clinics, sat on a chair, and stared into space.

Then suddenly it hit me. Mr Taylor is dead. Mr Taylor whom I was seeing for the past year, is not alive anymore. Tears fell down uncontrollably after that.

I have been in the vicious cycle of denial, acceptance, sorrow and everything all over again for the whole day after that. I keep seeing Mr Taylor's face in my head, waiting in the waiting room for me an hour before his appointment ( I swear he is the earliest patient EVERY time to be in the waiting room!).

I keep hearing Mr Taylor complimenting me, and the work I've done for him in constructing him his new dentures. Regardless of the countless times I screwed up, he never once lost patience in me. Neither did he lose faith in me.

I remember feeling very grateful and happy for being appreciated the way he appreciated me, by bringing a little Christmas cheer to me in the form of chocolates and a greeting card.

I remember our countless conversations during appointments, and he used to tell me about how he has to rush home to cook and look after his wife who is immobile. I remember thinking, his wife is one lucky person.



I realise I should not dwell on what has happened and move on with life. I realise I should not let my emotions take over.

But I also realise that this is my first patient, whom I have been treating for an entire year and built a relationship with, that passed away. So it is normal that I feel the way I do?


I managed to squeeze some words out to be written in the card I would send his wife.. never took this long to write something in my life before.




Dear Mrs. Taylor,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

Mr. Taylor was a wonderful patient, always very punctual and encouraging.

My prayers are with you and your family to give you strength through these difficult times.

Do look after yourself, take care. God bless.



Yours sincerely,
Pei Lian Ee
5th year dental student
University of Manchester Dental Hospital



Yes there is nothing much you can say to make a grieving person feel better.


Life can be cruel, but life goes on.

I have this long and hard battle in front of me,and fight it I MUST.