Disappointments

the higher hopes I put in myself in performing perfect work,the harder I fall whenever the work I do is not even close to perfect.

Ian's teeth is fixed, but with a colour so OFF shade that I feel like tearing it out and starting all over.

It was a super long procedure, and one where I had no clue as to what was going on bcoz I've never done it before. None of the tutors knew what was going on as well, which added stress to my already stressful afternoon, bcoz no one could help me.The consultant who supervised me was arguably the busiest person in the hospital, and waiting for him, with the clock ticking closer and closer to 5.. almost made me lose whatever sense of calm i had to start with when I started the procedure ( which was almost close to none).

When he arrived and took over, I felt like breaking into a sprint, running as far as I can get from the dental hospital. And never coming back again.

Its a pity how I'm feeling this way about a procedure that's supposed to be one of the more rewarding ones in dentistry.

Its Ian's birthday, and even though he was very gracious and happy about the work I'd done
( like he always is about everything)... the perfectionist in me could not bring myself to look at the beautifully shaped teeth with the out of place colour... and I couldnt lift a finger to pat myself on the back for the 'present' I've given him.

Not even when Mr Ashley said 'after this we should light a candle on every tooth we built up and sing Ian a happy birthday song'

I never used to think I was a perfectionist. I thought I've perfected my 'art' of facing disappointments, and setting achievable targets.

But I was wrong.

I wanted it to be so perfect for Ian that when it was less than perfect, I was crushed.